SHAMELESS

Justine had recently returned home from living in Rio. She had been through the mill down there, suffered all kinds, rape, addiction and homelessness and come through it. She was proud of herself and considered herself streetwise and very much a survivor. So coming back home to a small town in Oregon should be a piece of cake and in ways too, a bit of a culture shock, as she had been away for over almost two decades. 

She didn’t have a huge amount of belongings on return and even less in finances. Her family wanted Justine to come and live with them and she could be a help to them and she’d have company too and have a safe and secure place to live. So Justine was more than happy to move in with her family and catch up on lost years. She was glad to see her parents and her siblings and she felt like the prodigal daughter returning after the decades.

Justine had been suffering ill health in recent years so a trip to both doctor and dentist were in order first. She had a lot of health issues going on and her doctor informed her later that if she hadn’t come home then, she might not have survived much longer living the way she was doing. Her family agreed to help her out financially until she secured a job and finally got back on her feet again.

One day when Justine was out doing some shopping, she heard someone call her name. She looked around and saw a face that she thought she recognised but couldn’t seem to place the name. The girl said, 'don't you remember me, I’m Jane, we went to high school together’. As soon as Justine heard the name, she remembered. They went for a coffee and chatted about what had been going on in both their lives over the years. In fact, Justine seemed to be answering more questions about her life than she was told about Jane’s life. Jane had never left the town so Justine thought nothing major of all the questions, she just put it down to natural curiosity. 

Justine and Jane met up a few times after that. Justine wasn’t driving as none of her family would lend her their cars as she hadn’t driven for a long time. So Jane would call for Justine and they would go and have a coffee somewhere and catch up. They began to meet up regularly with a group of other friends too who all went to school together. Doris and Wilma had lived for a while in Rio too and Justine had often met up with them down there. The three of them had often shared meals out and visited each other's families. But they, like Justine, had returned to Oregon when their marriages had broken up. Two other ladies, Gemma and Jackie had only left for a short while and had worked in Los Angeles but came back home and settled down with families of their own. Only Jane had remained single. 

After a few weeks, Justine was offered a temporary job filling in for someone who was off on maternity leave and she was excited to finally have some money to her name and not be dependent on her family all the time. At the end of her first week, she got her first paycheck and was so happy to see it and had plans made to reimburse her family for their generosity to her.  However, later that evening, Jane arrived with a bag of clothes that she said she had bought for Justine and then said she needed to be paid for them as she had spent all of her grocery money on them. Justine was very much taken aback by this especially as she hadn’t even asked for the clothes. Jane said that she had spent what was half of the entire money that Justine had received that day and she was so pushy and determined that Justine felt bulldozed into handing over the money. She was amazed at herself for allowing this to happen, especially as she had commitments regarding the money and bills to pay. Still, she told herself as stupid as she felt, that this was a once off and would never happen again. 

However, this wasn’t a once off and actually became a regular occurrence. The worst thing was, the clothes were often old and shabby and weren’t any good to Justine and so she tossed them away. She never told her family as she knew what they would say. ‘How can you let yourself be used like that, especially after you’ve been away all those years?’. Justine felt very ashamed of herself and didn’t know what to do. She had no one to turn to for advice or help as she felt ashamed first of all and also she didn’t want their other friends to know what was going on. She tried telling Jane not to be bringing clothes as she neither could afford them nor need them. But Jane dismissed it and said she was bound to have loads of money as she had been away in Rio for so long.

 Justine felt caught in a trap for some reason and especially as people were also beginning  to advise her not to be friends with Jane. They were giving her all kinds of reasons, many of which were horrifying Justine but she for some reason couldn’t end the friendship. She told herself that it was nice to have company too as she missed her Rio friends and there weren’t many people around the village that she could be friends with. People were busy with their own families and work lives. But Jane continued to take advantage of Justine, costing her financially in every way as she never paid her share for anything. Anytime that they all went out together, Justine noticed that Jane was the only one who never paid for anything. Everyone else always seemed to be treating her and she was constantly milking it all she could. It just didn’t seem right at all.

When Justine finally got a second hand car and began to drive, she was spending all her money on gas, meals out and other expenses of Jane’s latest whim. Justine’s ex husband, Pedro, was calling her from Rio, and finally she began to tell him what was going on with Jane. He told her to cut off the friendship and not let herself be used, and to try and save some money to get herself back to Rio, even if just for a visit. It wasn’t easy and as hard as Justine tried, she continued the friendship and Jane continued to use her. Each time that they were out, if Justine treated herself to a new cell phone or something, Jane would lay a guilt trip on her and Justine would end up buying the same treat for her. Only for Justine’s family, Justine would have been homeless again and this time, starving too. Her siblings couldn’t understand how or why Justine seemed to have very little money. 

Justine was never able to offer a proper excuse to her family, in fact, out of desperation, she began to make up excuses and said that she had a large debt  down in Rio  that she needed to clear, otherwise she would never be able to return there. Her parents were horrified and asked what possible debt could it be and Justine on spur of the moment said it was a medical bill. She felt so guilty and she hated lying to them as they had always been so good to her but she didn’t know what else to do. She just didn’t feel that she could reveal the truth at this time. Her brothers would have been furious especially as they didn’t like Jane at all and didn’t want Justine to be friends with her. So Justine made up a friend each time that she was going out to avoid upsetting and angering them.

 After a while, Justine got a job in a factory and began to earn better money, but Jane was always there in the background playing the doting friend. Justine was happy in her job and was making friends with other members of staff. One day as she was getting ready to go home for the night, her boss called her into his office. His manager was there with him and they both had stern looks on their faces. Justine felt scared as she couldn’t imagine what could be wrong. Her boss finally spoke and asked her if she was happy in her job firstly, and secondly, had she spoken to anyone about a member of his family to which Justine replied that she hadn’t. Then her boss asked her if she had any enemies and again Justine said she didn’t think that she did as she hadn’t been back in Oregon that long and hadn’t got to know that many people. He then said that someone had rung him earlier in the day saying that he should fire Justine and that she had said that a member of his family had tried to have sex with her. This caller said that Justine liked to sleep around and use people and that if he didn’t fire her on the spot that he would be sorry. Justine burst into tears and said that she knew in her own heart that she hadn’t done anything wrong. Her boss said for her to go home for the night and that they would think about their decision and let Justine know when they were ready. Justine cried all the way home and her parents were horrified to see her like that and asked her what was wrong. Justine struggled to tell them what had happened and what she had been accused of. She told her parents that her boss had said that someone had rung him up and said that Justine was going around saying that a member of his family had taken Justine down to a nearby field and asked her for sex. It was a blatant lie. For the simple fact, that firstly it didn’t happen and secondly, Justine hadn’t said that to anyone. She was very upset that someone would try to discredit her and do their level best to get her fired. Justine’s elder brother came in after their parents called him to tell him what was happening, he was furious and said that he planned to get to the bottom of it and he had his suspicions.

Justine arrived at work the next day feeling very nervous. She was shattered as she had barely slept and was very anxious to know what her boss was going to say. When she went into the office, her boss appeared and asked her again to step into his office where his manager was waiting too. They invited Justine to sit down and began to talk. Her boss said that they believed her to which Justine began to cry with relief. However, her boss said that they were very anxious that this wouldn’t happen again and asked Justine to make sure that she said nothing about her job to anyone, they said that they couldn’t risk someone getting angry that Justine wasn’t fired and maybe that they would go to further lengths to destroy the factory. Justine gave her solemn word that she would never breathe a word and she honored that. She had her suspicions too as to who made that phone call but she couldn’t prove it or understand why, so she had to let it go and hope that it would never happen again. 

Things settled down at work for a while and then a few calls came in and when Justine answered the phone, there would be no voice on the other end of  the phone, only breathing. It was very unnerving. Justine just hung up the phone quietly and prayed that the caller would soon tire of it when they weren’t getting any reactions from her. And eventually, they did stop. 

Jane continued to manipulate Justine and use her, playing the caring friend. Justine questioned herself as to how a streetwise girl who survived the tough streets of Rio was allowing a peasant girl from a village to control and use her. Each time that they went out somewhere, either for the day or just a couple of hours, Justine found herself paying for everything. Then Justine applied for a credit card and was approved. She got a credit limit of 2,000 and Jane was in seventh Heaven when she found out. They decided to go to Seattle for a few days and stayed at a city center hotel. Again, Justine paid for all. She couldn’t understand how she was letting this happen over and over, but she reasoned with herself that she was glad to have company and be able to go places with someone.

As time went on, things remained the same. Jane continued to have the upper hand in all. Justine’s sister, Jasmine, came for a visit with her family and she was shocked to see that Justine was friends with Jane. Jasmine didn’t like Jane at all and felt that she wasn’t a suitable friend for Justine. Justine thought about telling Jasmine about the manipulations but she felt so ashamed of herself and felt that she couldn’t. She knew too that Jasmine would go berserk and go after Jane and that things would get worse for Justine especially when Jasmine and her family returned home to San Francisco. 

A few years later, Justine returned to Rio as her parents and siblings had given her some money. They wanted her to meet up with her ex and other friends in Rio and have a change of scenery for a few weeks. Justine set off and landed in Rio. Pedro was waiting for her in Novo Rio Bus Terminal and they set off for his apartment by bus. A couple of hours later, they settled in and finally went out to get something to eat and explore old haunts. As the weeks went on, they traveled around the city and had a great time. Pedro was very concerned at what was going on in Justine’s life back in Oregon and he tried to advise her as best as he could but he understood that Justine for some reason felt scared about it all. He asked her why she was and she was unable to explain, in fact, she couldn't even understand it herself. Things had gotten so out of hand. Pedro suggested that maybe Justine returned to live in Rio permanently and she did consider it, as she was still only in her 40s but she thought of her elderly parents back home and how they had become so dependent on her and she knew that she couldn't do it. Even though she had brothers and sisters, they were all married with their own families. She explained that to Pedro and he sadly understood. He had met her parents in the past and knew that they were elderly at this stage. But he wanted Justine to know that he would always be there for her no matter what. 

Justine returned to Oregon after several weeks and it wasn’t too long before things returned to a tough normal. Jane started coming about almost immediately and wanted to see what presents Justine had brought back from Rio for her. Justine thought of those happy weeks she had that were physically Jane free, but sadly not totally free as Jane demanded that Justine ring her every day which was at a huge financial expense for her. When Justine forgot to ring or was too busy to ring, Jane would ring Justine’s phone until she answered, costing her a huge amount in roaming charges. She half joked that it would have been cheaper to have brought Jane along rather than having to ring her everyday. Things continued as usual and Jane expected Justine to do all the driving and paying for all kinds of things as well as meals and coffees out and Justine always obliged. She kept telling herself that it was nice to have company and she would prefer it to being alone all the time, which she felt she would have been otherwise as there weren’t really many others in her age bracket around who didn’t have family commitments. She never told her parents nor her siblings that she was hanging out with Jane because she knew that even in spite of her age, they would have been so angry with her. They didn’t like Jane at all. Not one bit. 

Justine continued to treat Jane to trips and treats and days out and as another year came around, she decided to return to Rio again. This time Jane did manage to talk her way into getting a free trip at Justine’s expense. They left home and got a bus down to Los Angeles and flew down to Rio. Pedro was waiting for them again at Novo Rio Bus Terminal. He began to speak Portuguese with Justine all the time as he said he couldn't face speaking much to Jane after all she had been putting Justine through. He was afraid that he would lose his temper and make things worse for Justine in the future. Jane had refused to stay in Pedro’s apartment much to Justine's annoyance and so she had no option but to rent a hotel room for them both. Pedro was furious but Justine begged him not to say anything. He couldn't understand why she was so afraid of this person and why she had even brought her to Rio. He was disgusted that someone like Jane would come to his country and be so insulting like she was. But he promised Justine that he would stay quiet but only for her sake, but insisted that they get time alone without Jane. And he refused to speak any English in front of Jane as he just didn't want to engage in conversation with her at all.  After Pedro had said goodnight,Justine  got a room for the night for her and Jane and explored the area. They did have a good time and Justine began to relax telling herself that things would be ok.

The next morning, they both got up and after showering and dressing they went out and headed to a restaurant to have breakfast and later, wandered around again exploring the area and of course, then for Jane’s favorite, shopping at Justine’s expense.  Jane said that she couldn’t go back home without buying a load of presents for her family. She then told Justine that she had no money which Justine found so hard to understand. How could anyone travel so far from home and not have any money?. Deep down she felt that of course Jane had money to cover herself in case the worst happened, but she had no intention of using it unless she had no choice. They went back to the room and Jane left her shopping bags there and Justine told her that she would be going over to Pedros apartment later on and that Jane would have to fend for herself. Jane wasn’t happy at all with this arrangement but Justine finally put her foot down. Jane finally agreed but demanded money for food and more shopping and Justine knew that she had no choice but to relent. 

Later that afternoon, Justine went over to Pedro’s apartment and they went out together to eat. They enjoyed a meal and a good chat. Pedro kept asking Justine why she brought Jane with her as she was spoiling everything and being extremely insulting too. He couldn't understand why Justine was even friendly with such a person and especially as her family didn't like her either. And he was confused by the hold that Jane seemed to have on Justine.

A  few days later, Justine had planned to travel to meet up with some friends in Sao Paulo. She and Jane got a bus there and planned to stay for around two weeks. When they arrived, they checked into a nearby hotel and went out to get something to eat. Later, Justine decided to rent a car so that she could be free to get around. She had planned to meet some friends that evening. They had been living in the area all their lives and Justine had known them for years. Jane said she didn't want to go as she had no interest and as she didn't drink or smoke and had no interest in being with people who did. Also she didn't like the nightclub scene and knew they'd probably be going there. She said she would stay in the hotel room and watch tv. 

Justine was secretly delighted as she didn’t really want Jane spending time with her friends and she set off in her rental car to drive over to her friend’s house. Her friend Crystal was waiting and her sister Naomi was there too. The three of them set off and ended up in a bodega bar where Crystal and Naomi knew a lot of people. They got some drinks and sat down. After a while, a few guys came over and sat down with them and one of them called Jorge got extra friendly with Justine. They all spent the rest of the evening together and at closing time, Crystal, Jorge and Justine all set off in the car. Naomi was being picked up by her boyfriend. They decided to go down to a local  to get some food when suddenly Justine’s phone rang. It was Jane demanding to know where she was. When Justine said that she and her friend and a guy were heading to diner to get something to eat, Jane insisted that they collected her too. Justine didn’t resist as she had been drinking all night. Crystal drove and Justine and Jorge sat in the back. They arrived at the diner and had a meal, even though it was around 3am. They all headed home after and Jorge stayed over with Justine. They spent the next day together with one of his friends called Pepe. Jane didn’t want to go as she seemed a bit afraid of Jorge  and Pepe. Instead, Justine had to give her money for the day so that she could buy food and other things. Over the next few days, Justine spent the daytime with Jane and the evenings with Crystal, Naomi and Jorge . Then a few days later, Jorge  asked her to go with him to visit his parents. She told Jane that she’d be back the following day and she and Jorge  set off for the mountain area where his parents lived. Justine had never seen that part of Brazil before and was astonished when they arrived. His parents had no electricity or running water and his mom spoke no english. However,  they made Justine feel very welcome. They ended up staying there for a total of 3 days and Justine had no way to contact Jane as there was no cellular service where they were.  

They returned to the hotel and faced a very worried and livid Jane. She said that she didn't know what to think when they didnt come back. Justine said that she couldn’t ring as there was no service. Later, when Justine went to her bag that she had left in the hotel room to get some money, she discovered that several hundred dollars was missing. She confronted Jane who admitted to taking the money as she said she needed it. Justine asked her how she managed to get into her room and Jane replied that the manager had let her in. 

Jorge  stayed that night again with Justine and took off the following day. She didn’t see him again for the next few days and she went out with Jane during the day and with her friends at night. Later in the week, Justine and Crystal and another friend called Maria decided to take a trip and explore the surrounding areas. Justine had always wanted to see new places so they set off. They had a great time, stopping off at a little store on the way and getting coffee.

Later that evening, they went back to Crystal’s house and had a few beers. Jorge  appeared a few days later and he, Jane and Justine decided to head away to Paraguay where they got a motel for a few days. Jorge  and Justine decided to get married on the spur of the moment and they all went back to the motel that night, where they had their own room separately from Jane. A few days later, they headed back to Sao Paulo and got two more motel rooms. Jorge  and Jane weren’t getting on at all as she was getting on his nerves and Justine felt stuck in the middle and didn’t know what to do. Later, that night, when Justine and Jorge  were out at a bar, he told her that he wanted Jane gone as she was annoying him and that he would end up hurting her if something wasn’t done. Justine begged him not to do anything of the sort as she didn’t agree with anything like that at all. She said that she would speak to Jane and get her to calm down. Jane went back home the following day. 

Justine returned to Oregon several months later and Jane was back again at the usual carryon, much to Justine’s despair. Jorge  had already cost her thousands of pounds and there was very little left. She was beginning to find her feet again after being away. Then she received a letter from the department of revenue asking for her to come for an interview with an inspector. She couldn’t imagine what it was all about at first. She had been spending a lot of money when she was away and wondered then if it was because of that. She arrived for the interview and the inspector said that a report had been made to the department about Justine's escapades away. And began to question her saying she had broken the law by going over there by taking undeclared cash out of the country. Justine said she didn't know it was wrong and also she hadn’t intended on spending so much. She also asked who had reported her and he said that he wasn't at liberty to say as the reporter was entitled to their privacy and anonymity. He seemed to know a lot of the details of her time away, details that he just couldn’t have known about unless he had been told by someone who had been there with Justine. And Justine knew that there was only one person around who knew those details and that person was Jane. She and Jane had ended up on bad terms just before Jane left Brazil. So she felt that Jane was just being vengeful. Then the inspector asked Justine if she had ever physically abused her mom. Justine was horrified, and said that she would never do that, she loved her mom and respected her. He then said that he had reason to believe that she was abusive as the reporter had also said that Justine was always yelling at her mom and had thrown things at her and hit her. He then asked her to bring her mom in who had been sitting outside. He said that she was not to speak to her mom before he interviewed her. So Justine brought her in. Her mom was then asked the same questions and she was horrified too. She said that no way was her daughter abusive. And she wouldn't tolerate it anyway. Justine and her mom went home feeling very shaken thinking that Jane could do and say something so horrible and so vengeful. She was indeed very dangerous. But her mom warned her not to confront Jane as it could lead to things becoming much much worse.

Things progressed at a similar rate as before with Jane. Justine was her enabler but she didn’t seem to know how to stop it. She did enjoy getting out for days away and even short breaks of a few nights to a week here and there. They went to San Francisco and to Seattle and they both enjoyed it very much. Justine just wished that it didn’t always cost her so much but she didn’t see any respite or solution from it ever. 

The following year, Justine’s sister, Jasmine died and Justine was devastated. All the family gathered for the funeral and Jane arrived too and made herself known and sat up front with the mourners. Justine’s family were very annoyed but there was no stopping her. The next few weeks in Justine’s life were very hard and if truth be told, Jane did her best to be supportive in her own way, and Justine was glad of the company. As another year passed, Justine’s brother, Thomas, died. Justine was about to head to the funeral and Jane said she’d come too for support. She made herself known to all Justine’s relations and friends who were present.  Several weeks later, Jane began to chat to Justine and said that she had been away for a day visiting someone and that she had called around to Lisa and had a great visit. She said that Lisa’s husband and daughter were there and that they were lovely. Suddenly Justine asked who Lisa was, as she had never heard Jane speak of Lisa before. Jane replied that it was Justine’s cousin, Lisa. Justine was dumbfounded. Jane had only met Lisa briefly at Justine’s brother’s funeral and Justine couldn’t understand how Jane had invited herself into someone’s house like that. But Jane insisted that Lisa had invited her, which Justine found unbelievable. Justine did find out at a later date that this wasn’t true at all. Jane had indeed invited herself around. 

Jane was always asking Justine for stuff. Have you any of this, that or the other. Can I have it? Justine found herself giving in time and time again. She could never understand how or why she allowed this to happen. It just was impossible to put a stop to it. She was afraid to stop it for so many reasons. Another friend, Sal,  had warned her that Jane would make a very dangerous enemy. Justine and her family had recently moved into a new house and before they had fully moved in, Jane appeared one day and began to help herself to things that were already in the house, left there by the previous owner. She took mostly furniture and again, Justine found herself powerless to stop her. She couldn’t understand why she did this as when she lived in Brazil with Pedro, she had become so tough and she would take on anyone who would cross them. 

Another year and a half passed and the same things happened. Justine and Jane went out, either just for coffee or an afternoon out, or a day away or even a few days away. They mostly had a good time and were often very enjoyable, other than Justine having to fund everything as usual. Jane never once opened her wallet to even treat Justine for a coffee or chip in to help with the gas. 

Later on , Justine met up with an old friend called Drew and they then began to keep in touch by phone every night when he had returned home. After a few months, Justine decided to have a holiday by herself. She met up with Drew and after having spent a day with him, they ended up falling in love. A few weeks later, she went back down to where he lived in San Diego and they went away together for a few days. Halfway through their trip, they bumped into her ex boyfriend, David, who was shocked to see Justine and Drew walking hand in hand. Justine and David ended up getting into an argument and a couple of days later, Jane rang and said that David had rung her and told her all about Justine and Drew. Justine was horrified. She knew that Jane was out to cause trouble but she still had underestimated how much trouble. Justine came back home and Jane began to bombard her with questions about Drew. Justine did her best to skirt around them as Drew had warned her that she wasn’t to tell anyone about their relationship as he didn’t want his family to know he had a girlfriend as they would interfere and cause trouble. He had said that he would have to end the relationship if she told as he couldn’t afford to have trouble on his doorstep. As the next couple of months went on, Justine and Drew met up whenever they could and even had a few trips together, with one of them being a holiday together for a week. . 

Justine decided to move to San Diego as it was too difficult to travel back and forward all the time. Her family were happy for her and wanted to see her settled.  Meanwhile, Jane offered to visit Justine’s family every day and check that they were ok and see if they needed anything. Justine’s mom wasn’t best pleased at that arrangement but she wanted Justine to begin the next chapter of her life and so she agreed to it for now. 

So Justine found a place to rent. Her rent was going to be half of her total income and the cost of living in that town was going to be much higher than in her little village. After a week or two, Jane began demanding money for calling into Justine’s family and when Justine said that she couldn’t afford it, Jane was unsympathetic. In fact, she wanted Justine to hand over her total income and said that if Justine didn’t do that, she would phone Drew and cause trouble for him. Justine was terrified and didn’t know what to do. She had rent and bills to pay and this arrangement was going to leave her with no money to pay them at all. But at the same time, she couldn’t risk Jane ringing Drew or his workplace and her only other alternative was to run up huge debts by using bank loans which she had started adding to over the years. 

And so it began. Justine was going up to visit her family every week and each time, she had to pay Jane in cash, her total income. It never cost Jane a thought as to how Justine was managing to pay her bills or buy food or anything. She just didn’t seem to care. Justine was struggling terribly but her love for Drew was all that kept her going. 

As time went on, Justine and Drew grew more in love and Justine did her best to go and visit her mom as often as she could too. Her mom was happy that Justine had found love with a good man who cared deeply for her. 

Justine got herself into so much debt trying to survive, paying bills and buying Jane’s silence and to have peace. She ended up in a lot of trouble with creditors calling her demanding more payment than she could afford. She was literally robbing Peter to pay Paul. She sought legal advice and was told that she’d have no option but to sell her precious house to pay off the debt and reluctantly, she put it up for sale. It sold fast enough and she cleared all her debts and paid off her bank loans With the remaining money, she bought into a restaurant as she had been advised that it would be a good investment. Then she used the rest of the money for living expenses where she was now living, and shared a holiday with Drew too. They made great memories. 

 Meanwhile, Jane continued demanding money, more and more. Justine was devastated but knew that she had no choice and so she began to send large checks up on a regular basis until there was nothing left of the money. Her landlord, upon realizing that she was struggling to pay the rent, suggested that she come to work for his friend who ran a large warehouse and so she did. It was very hard work and she struggled to juggle it and spend as much time with Drew as she could. She had shielded him from knowing anything about being blackmailed by Jane and what all she was going through. She had been hiding it so well. But after a while, he noticed that she seemed very upset when she was leaving him to work in the morning and asked her what was wrong. She finally told him that she was having a hard time at work and that the work was tough. His heart broke when he heard the pain in her voice and he suggested that maybe she quit the job and try to find something more suitable and where she would be treated properly. Justine said she’d try to find a better job but that she’d stick it out at the present job until she did. 

Later on, Justine decided to quit the job as it was just too much. She was being bullied by a co-worker and suffered a severe panic attack and had to ring Drew at his work as she was struggling to breathe. He came and got her and took her out for the evening to cheer her up.